- Design and presentation of a comprehensive series of recommendations for Coro's organizational structure (including ways Coro influences its network and community) to ensure Coro stays far ahead of the curve when it comes to LGBT diversity and inclusivity. The recommendation plan will include a timeline of implementation (ex. what should be done by when).
- Examples of recommendations might include: requesting Coro alumni to include sexual orientation and gender identity when filling out surveys to keep track of LGBT people going through the programs, standardized informational packets of LGBT issues/best practices to be distributed among Coro partners and affiliates, procedures for ensuring transgender people's preferred names and pronouns are used when applying for programs & placement, etc.
- LGBT community involvement and consultation for LGBT organizations in and around Pittsburgh:
- For those organizations who serve the LGBT community interested in strengthening or creating internship programs
- To create a LGBT community 5-year plan informed by LGBT organizations, community representatives and community members. This plan to be included as part of the overall 5 year plan for the region to be created at the 2011 Building Change conference. More info: http://trcfwpa.org/news-events/building-change-convergence/. Also planning an LGBT workplace issues training for employers as part of the conference.
- To ensure continuity of responsibilities with the RIC and the ITL including social media work, tracking internships created, presenting another workshop on internship programs for employers, and creating and presenting a final presentation of my fellowship experience on November 18th, 2011 (save the date!).
July 19, 2011
Next Phase!
Due to some shifts at the Regional Internship Center, I am shifting the focus and structure of my project and the next four months will look quite different from the past 6. Things have been a little up in the air, as makes sense, because of these changes, but now I'm on the ground again and excited about what comes next. For the next 4 months, I will be focusing on the following areas:
July 7, 2011
Words of Wisdom: What I've Learned So Far
Looking ahead to November 18th. Just over four months to go and using this time to take a step back, assess what I've done and learned and regroup to get to the next level. This is really just a list for me to take stock, but it may have some useful tips, especially for folks struggling with professional development.
- You can't know if you can do something yourself until you do it. Especially apparent when you see someone else doing it not as good as you think you can.
- Inviting someone personally to your event is more efficient and effective than sending out 1,000 emails.
- Use a variety of methods to outreach an event: in person, over the phone, email lists, personal emails, snail mail, social media. Follow up & follow up again.
- Share stressful feelings sooner rather than later (useful in many areas of life).
- Use checking in and meeting up in person to keep on track and stay accountable. It's easy to hide behind an email.
- Embrace organizational change to stay ahead of the game and stay relevant. These things happen all the damn time.
- Visual organization helps mental organization. Tidy up the desk! Put business cards in one place!
- Planning events effectively always takes more time than you think.
- Share what you know, what you've learned. Ask for what you need, seek out people who have skills & connections that can help you.
- Speak up for communities you don't see represented in research, in meetings, etc.
- Give people the benefit of the doubt. They may not know what you are talking about or be aware of your perspective. They may be afraid of speaking from a place of ignorance. They may just be having a bad day.
- Listen.
- Emails can always be shorter. Less text on that flier is better.
- A good presentation means a lot.
- Having that tough conversation clears the air.
- Say out loud when things should be kept in confidence and get acknowledgement.
- Real change takes time, but much can be done now.
July 1, 2011
Making Strides and Thinking Ahead...
Last Wednesday, June 22nd, I got the chance to see the fruits of my labor in the form of a workshop on internship programs for organizations in Pittsburgh that serve the LGBT community. This is something I started to put together back in April and went through the steps of:
I see the "Creating a Successful Internship Program" workshop as offering assistance not only in comprehensive internship program creation but also in just taking the time to take a hard look at the organization's goals for the future. What is the work that needs to get done? What work would we like to get done? How can we provide a great experience for an intern and also benefit from the intern being there as much as possible? There is much potential for brainstorming & breakthroughs.
The discussion following the workshop was prompted by sharing my personal perspective of our LGBTQ community's assets and challenges and how creating better internship programs can help the community. Workshop attendees provided additional assets including: cultural history of people of color, labor rights and challenges including: HIV/AIDS stigma, neighborhood segregation, inadequate transportation.
Transportation kept coming up and that was a surprise for me: I know our transportation system is seriously lacking, unstable, and unreliable. But I never had considered it a queer issue before. But of course it makes sense: for lower-income LGBTQ people, especially youth and people living outside of a major city, access to safe, reliable and affordable transportation means the difference between having access to services & a queer community and not being able to participate, to their detriment and our community's. Plus for queer youth who may not be out to their families, they especially need independent means of transportation to get support and attend community events. Here is one issue just about every community in Pittsburgh can rally behind: TRANSPORTATION. We need it to be more affordable, more reliable, offer more transportation options (water taxis, car taxis, trains, trolleys, bike lanes, etc.).
I also want to respond a little to another issue that come up when discussing one major LGBTQ community challenge: divisions within the community. Namely, how do we actually build community and do it responsibly? For example, if I see that the group I work with is not serving the African-American/Black community as we should, I could go to where the community is, talk with various people, get new perspectives, etc. What often happens is taking one person's perspective as representative of an entire community, expecting that person to be the educator all the time, and not taking responsibility for the pain that might arise when talking about these issues. I have experienced the fatigue of being a community representative--people asking me questions that are not appropriate or relevant and maybe something I absolutely do not want to talk about right then and there. Feeling that need to speak up for my community when I see it isn't represented in a "representative" study...There is a lot of discomfort and pain associated with these conversations. Seeing each person as unique and only a representative of one may be helpful. Taking a stand and then responding respectfully to critiques, changing behavior, speaking up for those with less privilege, using one's status to advocate for others. These are ways to build community.
Stay tuned for another post about what happens next...
- generating an invite list;
- securing the room;
- feeling confident enough to assist in leading the workshop;
- developing a discussion about our lgbt-community;
- email, phone and face-to-face outreach for the event;
- buying snacks for the event;
- DOING IT!;
- thinking ahead to what happens next...
I see the "Creating a Successful Internship Program" workshop as offering assistance not only in comprehensive internship program creation but also in just taking the time to take a hard look at the organization's goals for the future. What is the work that needs to get done? What work would we like to get done? How can we provide a great experience for an intern and also benefit from the intern being there as much as possible? There is much potential for brainstorming & breakthroughs.
The discussion following the workshop was prompted by sharing my personal perspective of our LGBTQ community's assets and challenges and how creating better internship programs can help the community. Workshop attendees provided additional assets including: cultural history of people of color, labor rights and challenges including: HIV/AIDS stigma, neighborhood segregation, inadequate transportation.
Transportation kept coming up and that was a surprise for me: I know our transportation system is seriously lacking, unstable, and unreliable. But I never had considered it a queer issue before. But of course it makes sense: for lower-income LGBTQ people, especially youth and people living outside of a major city, access to safe, reliable and affordable transportation means the difference between having access to services & a queer community and not being able to participate, to their detriment and our community's. Plus for queer youth who may not be out to their families, they especially need independent means of transportation to get support and attend community events. Here is one issue just about every community in Pittsburgh can rally behind: TRANSPORTATION. We need it to be more affordable, more reliable, offer more transportation options (water taxis, car taxis, trains, trolleys, bike lanes, etc.).
I also want to respond a little to another issue that come up when discussing one major LGBTQ community challenge: divisions within the community. Namely, how do we actually build community and do it responsibly? For example, if I see that the group I work with is not serving the African-American/Black community as we should, I could go to where the community is, talk with various people, get new perspectives, etc. What often happens is taking one person's perspective as representative of an entire community, expecting that person to be the educator all the time, and not taking responsibility for the pain that might arise when talking about these issues. I have experienced the fatigue of being a community representative--people asking me questions that are not appropriate or relevant and maybe something I absolutely do not want to talk about right then and there. Feeling that need to speak up for my community when I see it isn't represented in a "representative" study...There is a lot of discomfort and pain associated with these conversations. Seeing each person as unique and only a representative of one may be helpful. Taking a stand and then responding respectfully to critiques, changing behavior, speaking up for those with less privilege, using one's status to advocate for others. These are ways to build community.
Stay tuned for another post about what happens next...
June 20, 2011
Pride Month!
A huge THANK YOU to everyone who showed support at the June 10th Dreams of Hope fundraiser!! The Community House Church is a beautiful space with an over-abundance of genuinely nice people. Wow, those Dreams of Hope kids too...It takes a lot to be so professional, while candid, and deliver a great performance. I also really loved how comfortable audience-members felt in sharing some personal and touching stories how they really needed something like Dreams of Hope when they were younger and are still feeling the pain of bullying years later. I felt honored to be sitting with the young adults of Dreams of Hope and may have teared up once or twice...
The feeling at Community House reminded me of a film screening I went to with my partner, her sister and a friend on June 9th at the WQED studios.
Two Spirits: "Fred Martinez was one of the youngest hate-crime victims in modern history when he was brutally murdered at 16. This film explores the life and death or a boy, who was also a girl, and the essentially spiritual nature of gender."
First of all may I just say that I love WQED! Deborah Acklin, WQED's president and chief executive officer, spoke to us at the beginning about WQED being such a great place to work, with a rich history in bringing a diversity of perspectives to communities. She spoke of Mr. Rogers and his commitment to making television nurturing and educational. I never knew WQED was the first! The room was nearly full of people and chilly.
The film was beautiful and showed a variety of perspectives, although it was at times too dramatic. The best parts were the close-ups of Fred's mother speaking about her son and her very real awareness and feelings about him. I like that the directors chose to include a lot of the history of the oppression of and brutality against native peoples in this country.
After the film, a member of the transgender community, a member of the American Indian community and a member of the film community sat on a panel and a moderator asked questions to each. Then the audience was asked to provide questions. One older man spoke for a long time (and maintained most people's interest the whole time) about how Paganism (which he actively practices) allows for much more celebration of the body, of gender fluidity and or sexuality than nearly every other major religion in the world. How sad that so much torture and "justified" hatred is promoted by religions throughout history...I spoke to this man after the Q&A session and thanked him for sharing personal stories of overcoming bullying and discrimination and living through the AIDS epidemic. I see a need for more inter-generational connections in the queer community. There is conflict for sure. Older gays tend to think only in terms of gay and straight and many men are often blatantly sexist. Younger folks invoke the wrath of older gays, who believe we all don't know how good we have it. And there is this big gap in our community--everyone that died of AIDS, is dying. Not to mention all the other ways we are divided as a community.
I raised my hand at one point and said how tired I am of seeing films about trans people who are murdered, are murderers, or who kill themselves. I outed myself and I asked why aren't we seeing more films of queer people who survive? I can't really remember now what they said. But something like--these traumatic stories are effective, and who wants to watch a movie about a a boring well-adjusted person anyway? I guess also that there are so many of these hard stories to tell and they deserve to be told--all of them.
After the event I had my picture taken with Mr. Rogers, the dinosaur out front.
Pride weekend was emotionally fraught, thinking about what we all had to endure to make it to this point, what still has to be done. I may have my personal issues with Pride's focus on getting wasted, corporate junk and apolitical-ness but when I saw that man in the parade in a cop uniform (not actually a cop unfortunately), hairy chest visible to the world, twirling with a baton and looking AMAZING, everyone cheering for him and taking his picture, and he kept his energy up the whole time...I just thought how great it all is, being out, loud and proud.
The feeling at Community House reminded me of a film screening I went to with my partner, her sister and a friend on June 9th at the WQED studios.
Two Spirits: "Fred Martinez was one of the youngest hate-crime victims in modern history when he was brutally murdered at 16. This film explores the life and death or a boy, who was also a girl, and the essentially spiritual nature of gender."
First of all may I just say that I love WQED! Deborah Acklin, WQED's president and chief executive officer, spoke to us at the beginning about WQED being such a great place to work, with a rich history in bringing a diversity of perspectives to communities. She spoke of Mr. Rogers and his commitment to making television nurturing and educational. I never knew WQED was the first! The room was nearly full of people and chilly.
The film was beautiful and showed a variety of perspectives, although it was at times too dramatic. The best parts were the close-ups of Fred's mother speaking about her son and her very real awareness and feelings about him. I like that the directors chose to include a lot of the history of the oppression of and brutality against native peoples in this country.
After the film, a member of the transgender community, a member of the American Indian community and a member of the film community sat on a panel and a moderator asked questions to each. Then the audience was asked to provide questions. One older man spoke for a long time (and maintained most people's interest the whole time) about how Paganism (which he actively practices) allows for much more celebration of the body, of gender fluidity and or sexuality than nearly every other major religion in the world. How sad that so much torture and "justified" hatred is promoted by religions throughout history...I spoke to this man after the Q&A session and thanked him for sharing personal stories of overcoming bullying and discrimination and living through the AIDS epidemic. I see a need for more inter-generational connections in the queer community. There is conflict for sure. Older gays tend to think only in terms of gay and straight and many men are often blatantly sexist. Younger folks invoke the wrath of older gays, who believe we all don't know how good we have it. And there is this big gap in our community--everyone that died of AIDS, is dying. Not to mention all the other ways we are divided as a community.
I raised my hand at one point and said how tired I am of seeing films about trans people who are murdered, are murderers, or who kill themselves. I outed myself and I asked why aren't we seeing more films of queer people who survive? I can't really remember now what they said. But something like--these traumatic stories are effective, and who wants to watch a movie about a a boring well-adjusted person anyway? I guess also that there are so many of these hard stories to tell and they deserve to be told--all of them.
After the event I had my picture taken with Mr. Rogers, the dinosaur out front.
Pride weekend was emotionally fraught, thinking about what we all had to endure to make it to this point, what still has to be done. I may have my personal issues with Pride's focus on getting wasted, corporate junk and apolitical-ness but when I saw that man in the parade in a cop uniform (not actually a cop unfortunately), hairy chest visible to the world, twirling with a baton and looking AMAZING, everyone cheering for him and taking his picture, and he kept his energy up the whole time...I just thought how great it all is, being out, loud and proud.
June 10, 2011
Dreams of Hope Benefit
On Friday, June 10 from 7 – 10 p.m. at Community House on Pittsburgh’s North Side, dynamic youth performers Dreams of Hope will share their talents and stories at their performance to kick off Pride Weekend in Pittsburgh!
Tickets are $5 for students, $10 general admission and $20 for champions for information and to purchase tickets via the PayPal button at http://transyouthleaders.blogspot.com. All proceeds benefit the Initiative for Transgender Leadership, a job training placement initiative for transgender youth.
Join us June 10, 7:00 PM Community House,
120 Parkhurst Street Pittsburgh, PA 15212 where
Dreams of Hope will entertain, engage, and teach us.
Dreams of Hope is teaming-up with ITL to benefit our Trans Youth Fellowship. The fellowship provides professional skills, mentoring, and community impact. We have raised nearly $13,000 of the total $20K needed to support (1) the Fellow (Rayden Sorock), (2) the Sponsoring Organization (Regional Internship Center of Coro Center for Civic Leadership), & (3) grassroots change of the region's transgender conversation.
Learn more: http://www.dreamsofhope.org/about
June 7, 2011
Philly Trans Health Conference & other updates
Hello all!
I haven't posted since before Memorial Day and I'm thinking about all this beautiful weather we've been having--with the exception of today's black skies and thunderstorms. Mem day weekend was spent attending the Justice for Jordan Miles protest downtown--http://justiceforjordanmiles.com/--where I saw Jen and her son; and biking almost 50 miles on the 29th. My partner Ocean read part of her as-of-yet unpublished novel at Fleeting Pages on the 30th.
Last week was crazy leading up to the Philly Trans Health Conference and I haven't had the chance to update in a while. A couple friends and I performed in a band called Gutter Glitter on June 2nd. So much fun playing for that crowd full of friends! We opened for Kaia Wilson, former lead singer of Team Dresch and The Butchies. She sang a bunch of songs that she wrote 15 years ago and totally charmed the crowd. Here's a pic of our band!
I haven't posted since before Memorial Day and I'm thinking about all this beautiful weather we've been having--with the exception of today's black skies and thunderstorms. Mem day weekend was spent attending the Justice for Jordan Miles protest downtown--http://justiceforjordanmiles.com/--where I saw Jen and her son; and biking almost 50 miles on the 29th. My partner Ocean read part of her as-of-yet unpublished novel at Fleeting Pages on the 30th.
Last week was crazy leading up to the Philly Trans Health Conference and I haven't had the chance to update in a while. A couple friends and I performed in a band called Gutter Glitter on June 2nd. So much fun playing for that crowd full of friends! We opened for Kaia Wilson, former lead singer of Team Dresch and The Butchies. She sang a bunch of songs that she wrote 15 years ago and totally charmed the crowd. Here's a pic of our band!
So the morning after our performance, Ocean, two friends and I loaded up the car and drove to Philly. We arrived around noon on the second day of the conference. Unfortunately missed Chaz Bono's Q&A. So much fun to pack a convention center with the trans and queer community and allies galore! I attended some okay workshops and some great workshops, and one lame workshop. But each taught me a lot about leading a workshop: the presenter/attendee dynamic, pacing & organization, keeping questions and comments on track, etc. I wish I could have gone to more workshops. It seemed that for every one I attended, I felt like I was missing 2 or 3.
On Saturday 12:45pm I led a workshop called "Bringing Our Whole Selves to Work" for about 25 people. Adorably, the parents of a trans youth introduced themselves to me and said they wanted to know more about what their child could expect in employment. There was a range of folks in attendance--some in the corporate world, some in the non-profit sector, some unemployed, even one outspoken Republican. Bobby was there to give support (thanks!) and one of my friends too.
First I started off with introductions and describing what the workshop was going to be like. Then I allowed the attendees to introduce themselves to each other, and everyone was enthusiastic. Then they filled out an "Identities Worksheet" with 20 categories like gender expression, class, communication style and I asked a couple people to read their lists out loud. I was trying to get at the idea across that there are lots of identities we each have, some of them may give us a lot of grief in the workplace, others we may never think about. Next I surveyed the group in regards to the parts of themselves they feel like they can and can't bring to work. We picked that apart for a while: What is it about where you work that allows you to be out about being a liberal? What is it about where you work that makes it difficult to come out about your sexuality?
Then we got into categorizing workplace barriers into three groups: POLICY, PHYSICAL and CULTURE. This got tricky because a dress code may fall into all three: the dress code may be part of a policy, it affects the physical environment of the workplace and the workplace culture may affect what is and isn't appropriate to wear.
We ended with sharing strategies for solving problems at work; some people shared success stories too. I hope that people left with a new or modified framework for thinking about their problems at work and how to solve those problems. Additionally, in hearing other peoples' stories of workplace discrimination and difficulties, perhaps we all came away with a greater sense of what our community members are dealing with.
After that, I networked a bit and attended one of the plenary lectures on global transgender issues (really putting things into perspective--check out http://www.transrespect-transphobia.org/ for more info) and watched the movie Screaming Queens: The Riot at Compton's Cafeteria which was AMAZING. All in all a great weekend in Philly.
May 25, 2011
LGBTQ Org's: "Creating a Successful Internship Program" Workshop and Discussion
Calling all Pittsburgh-area LGBTQ Organizations!
You’re invited!
The Regional Internship Center and the
Workshop: “Creating a Successful Internship Program”
-and-
Discussion: Serving the LGBT community through internship programs
Who: Pittsburgh-area organizations that serve the LGBT community
What: “Creating a Successful Internship Program” Workshop and Discussion
When: Wednesday, June 22nd from 1:00pm to 4:00pm
When: Wednesday, June 22nd from 1:00pm to 4:00pm
Where: Coro Center for Civic Leadership office
33 Terminal Way, Suite 429A
Pittsburgh, PA 15219
Cost: $35 (Make checks payable to: Coro Center for Civic Leadership)
Contact: Rayden Sorock by email or phone: (412) 208-0250
RSVP by Monday, June 20th
Click HERE to view the Regional Internship Center's employer workshop promo video!
More about this workshop and discussion
More about this workshop and discussion
Website hasn’t been updated since 1999?
Need to be in 5 places at once?
Planning for that annual fundraiser?
Is your organization stagnating for lack of fresh new ideas?
Is your social media strategy anti-social?
Breaking into a new market?
It sounds like you need an intern!
Need to be in 5 places at once?
Planning for that annual fundraiser?
Is your organization stagnating for lack of fresh new ideas?
Is your social media strategy anti-social?
Breaking into a new market?
It sounds like you need an intern!
Come to a workshop “Creating a Successful Internship Program” to learn how to:
- Assess short- medium- and long-term organizational goals
- Sustain an internship program after a key employee leaves
- Pay your intern, with money and/or other valuable concessions
- Improve your bottom line
- Make an existing internship program more effective
- Develop employee leadership skills
- Attract and retain talent
- Write an internship position description to attract the right person
- and more!
After the workshop, join a discussion on attracting and retaining LGBT talent, where we will try to answer these questions:
- What are some unique challenges faced by organizations who serve the LGBT community?
- How do we advertise internship positions to the LGBT community?
- How can a successful internship program help your organization evolve?
- How can a successful internship program provide meaningful career development opportunities for LGBT youth?
- Can we bridge the gaps between our organizations and pave the way for collaboration?
Hope you can make it!
May 23, 2011
Upcoming "Creating a Successful Internship Program" Workshop
Last Wednesday, I sat in on another of the RIC's employer workshops on "Creating a Successful Internship Program" at the Allegheny Land Trust in Sewickley. I'm keeping an eye out for ways to tailor the presentation to organizations that primarily serve the LGBT community. The information in the presentation is designed to be helpful for any company or organization looking to improve upon an existing internship program or start a new one. There are so many misconceptions about interns: ("Oh, this totally annoying job? Let's make the intern do it! Ha, ha, ha!" or "We can't pay an intern so we can't have one!") but just getting people talking about internships and what they could be really offers a whole new frame through which to look at them. This is especially helpful when members of organizations hear from members of other organizations about problems they have faced and overcome.
In many ways, organizations who serve LGBT populations are facing the same challenges as organizations who don't (directly) serve them. LGBT organizations may need to work on updating infrastructure, developing a more distinct "brand", assessing resources, attracting and retaining the best talent for the job, making hard decisions about funding and programming...These are all challenges common to any organization. But I'm trying to get at the challenges specific to LGBT organizations, in the Pittsburgh-area. Do organizations feel torn between groups in our community that seem to be at odds with each other? What is an organization's current strategy to reach out and advertise to the LGBT community? Further, what kind of language is the organization using to carry out that strategy? How is our community changing and what resources to we need now that we didn't need 10 or 20 years ago? How do we ally ourselves with other organizations in the city to create change beyond our community?
On June 22nd, I am inviting local LGBT organizations to our internships and including time to discuss these and other questions. The workshop information is below as well as a video by the Regional Internship Center's director, Regina Anderson about what employers can expect from this workshop:
Questions? Requests for accommodations? Email or call: (412) 208-0250
In many ways, organizations who serve LGBT populations are facing the same challenges as organizations who don't (directly) serve them. LGBT organizations may need to work on updating infrastructure, developing a more distinct "brand", assessing resources, attracting and retaining the best talent for the job, making hard decisions about funding and programming...These are all challenges common to any organization. But I'm trying to get at the challenges specific to LGBT organizations, in the Pittsburgh-area. Do organizations feel torn between groups in our community that seem to be at odds with each other? What is an organization's current strategy to reach out and advertise to the LGBT community? Further, what kind of language is the organization using to carry out that strategy? How is our community changing and what resources to we need now that we didn't need 10 or 20 years ago? How do we ally ourselves with other organizations in the city to create change beyond our community?
On June 22nd, I am inviting local LGBT organizations to our internships and including time to discuss these and other questions. The workshop information is below as well as a video by the Regional Internship Center's director, Regina Anderson about what employers can expect from this workshop:
Workshop: “Creating a Successful Internship Program”
-and-
Discussion: Serving the LGBT community through internship programs
Who: Pittsburgh-area organizations that serve the LGBT community
What: “Creating a Successful Internship Program” Workshop and Discussion
When: Wednesday, June 22nd from 1:00pm to 4:00pm
Where: Coro Center for Civic Leadership office
33 Terminal Way, Suite 429A
Pittsburgh, PA 15219
Cost: $35 (Make checks payable to: Coro Center for Civic Leadership)
RSVP by Monday, June 20th by emailing Rayden Sorock at rsorock@coropittsburgh.org
May 15, 2011
Gendered workplaces or Coming out, even late, still feels good
[The other day, Mad and I discussed the elements of crafting a share: 1) truthfulness, authenticity, grounded in direct experience 2) sharing must provoke emotion in the sharer 3) give people a context in which to understand the share. I wanted to "share" a before and after story about having a "perfect" opportunity to come out and not taking it til over a year later. -Ray]
A little over a year ago, I experienced a unique employment situation. Namely, I was working at both the Waldorf School of Pittsburgh, as a Classroom Aide with four-year-olds, and at Construction Junction as part of the "de-con" crew, assigned to buildings and houses scheduled to be torn down or remodeled and removing any re-usable materials to bring back to CJ's to be sold. These jobs felt like polar opposites. I remember feeling worried that I was going to use my cutesy non-swear words (like, oh phooey kablooey!) I reserved for Waldorf at CJ's, or let out some majorly inappropriate words at Waldorf.
On the one hand, working at Waldorf, primarily with women, in a clean and orderly and nurturing environment: I covered my tattoo, I watched my language, I spoke quietly, I worked on being a respectful and communicative role model. I baked bread, I told stories, I tied shoes, I used the word "may" often (Yes, you may do this. You may not do that).
This in stark contrast to the loud, dirty, dude-ly, physically tough job at CJ's. I swore, I joked, I hoisted, I ripped up, I smashed in, I wore insulated Carhartt overalls.
Some days I would go straight from the classroom in the morning to a demolition site in the afternoon, eating my lunch on the way. I worked out my morning frustrations by de-nailing floorboards, sawzall-ing through two-by-fours, listening to classic rock.
Another major difference was that while I was out to my supervisor and some co-workers at Waldorf, I was not out to anybody at CJ's. Waldorf is the second job I've had working with children since transitioning. It's become a policy of mine to be open when it comes to working with kids. Not only do I have pretty radical views about gender (and working with kids is so all about gender) but I know that men working in childcare are viewed with skepticism--I wanted to be in control of my own outing in case it came up later. So I wasn't out at CJ's--I mean, I probably came off as quirky, perhaps standoffish, maybe a little queer. But there wasn't any shortage of weirdos working there. Part of the charm, for sure.
Despite the totally dude atmosphere, I did get along well with several of my co-workers. I don't remember hearing anti-gay slurs. Maybe just a handful of times. I might have called someone out on it once or twice and maybe they just didn't say it around me. Heard a lot of sexist crap. Weird how exchanging crappy comments about women is one of the primary ways one knows one has "arrived" in dude-land. Despite the atmosphere I had a really interesting conversation once with one guy about a book called Evolution's Rainbow (2004), a response to Darwin's theory of sexual selection, highlighting all the variations of sex characteristics and gendered behavior present in nature (it's really good!). It's written by a transwoman biologist named Joan Roughgarden. Interestingly enough, she went on to write a book about how evolutionary biology and the bible aren't actually in opposition.
Anyway, my co-worker even mentioned having a friend from Portland who transitioned, and still I didn't come out to him. I knew he would have been just fine with it, but something held me back...
The story comes full circle when, just last week, I was helping out a friend shovel out some nasty, dusty debris left over from gutting the house she is fixing up. She and I worked together at CJ's and I was glad to be working with at least one woman. I'm out to her too, but in general coming out to women is easier for me. So guess who else shows up to help? The guy I worked with who recommended Evolution's Rainbow.
He graciously gave me and my bike a ride home and of course along the way he asks what I'm up to. Well, what a perfect opportunity. I tell him. And of course it's fine. We ended up chatting about this weird gender thing, that weird gender thing, which usually happens after coming out. Coming out opens people up to talk about gender and sexuality in a way they wouldn't usually talk about it--with fascination, with seriousness and also with humor (and not in a primitive "men are from mars" way). I don't pretend to be an expert on gender, but I guess I know more than a lot of people, and plus its fun to play Tiresias.
I'm glad I got a second chance to come out to someone I really wanted to come out to. Being the ITL fellow affords me many more opportunities to come out, as "so, what do you do?" is a question that comes up all the time. Even thought I don't always want to "go there" with people I've just met, talking about what I do as it positively relates to who I am is a privilege afforded to too few in a system where having to compromise one's morals for a paycheck is all too common.
A little over a year ago, I experienced a unique employment situation. Namely, I was working at both the Waldorf School of Pittsburgh, as a Classroom Aide with four-year-olds, and at Construction Junction as part of the "de-con" crew, assigned to buildings and houses scheduled to be torn down or remodeled and removing any re-usable materials to bring back to CJ's to be sold. These jobs felt like polar opposites. I remember feeling worried that I was going to use my cutesy non-swear words (like, oh phooey kablooey!) I reserved for Waldorf at CJ's, or let out some majorly inappropriate words at Waldorf.
On the one hand, working at Waldorf, primarily with women, in a clean and orderly and nurturing environment: I covered my tattoo, I watched my language, I spoke quietly, I worked on being a respectful and communicative role model. I baked bread, I told stories, I tied shoes, I used the word "may" often (Yes, you may do this. You may not do that).
This in stark contrast to the loud, dirty, dude-ly, physically tough job at CJ's. I swore, I joked, I hoisted, I ripped up, I smashed in, I wore insulated Carhartt overalls.
Some days I would go straight from the classroom in the morning to a demolition site in the afternoon, eating my lunch on the way. I worked out my morning frustrations by de-nailing floorboards, sawzall-ing through two-by-fours, listening to classic rock.
Another major difference was that while I was out to my supervisor and some co-workers at Waldorf, I was not out to anybody at CJ's. Waldorf is the second job I've had working with children since transitioning. It's become a policy of mine to be open when it comes to working with kids. Not only do I have pretty radical views about gender (and working with kids is so all about gender) but I know that men working in childcare are viewed with skepticism--I wanted to be in control of my own outing in case it came up later. So I wasn't out at CJ's--I mean, I probably came off as quirky, perhaps standoffish, maybe a little queer. But there wasn't any shortage of weirdos working there. Part of the charm, for sure.
Despite the totally dude atmosphere, I did get along well with several of my co-workers. I don't remember hearing anti-gay slurs. Maybe just a handful of times. I might have called someone out on it once or twice and maybe they just didn't say it around me. Heard a lot of sexist crap. Weird how exchanging crappy comments about women is one of the primary ways one knows one has "arrived" in dude-land. Despite the atmosphere I had a really interesting conversation once with one guy about a book called Evolution's Rainbow (2004), a response to Darwin's theory of sexual selection, highlighting all the variations of sex characteristics and gendered behavior present in nature (it's really good!). It's written by a transwoman biologist named Joan Roughgarden. Interestingly enough, she went on to write a book about how evolutionary biology and the bible aren't actually in opposition.
Anyway, my co-worker even mentioned having a friend from Portland who transitioned, and still I didn't come out to him. I knew he would have been just fine with it, but something held me back...
The story comes full circle when, just last week, I was helping out a friend shovel out some nasty, dusty debris left over from gutting the house she is fixing up. She and I worked together at CJ's and I was glad to be working with at least one woman. I'm out to her too, but in general coming out to women is easier for me. So guess who else shows up to help? The guy I worked with who recommended Evolution's Rainbow.
He graciously gave me and my bike a ride home and of course along the way he asks what I'm up to. Well, what a perfect opportunity. I tell him. And of course it's fine. We ended up chatting about this weird gender thing, that weird gender thing, which usually happens after coming out. Coming out opens people up to talk about gender and sexuality in a way they wouldn't usually talk about it--with fascination, with seriousness and also with humor (and not in a primitive "men are from mars" way). I don't pretend to be an expert on gender, but I guess I know more than a lot of people, and plus its fun to play Tiresias.
I'm glad I got a second chance to come out to someone I really wanted to come out to. Being the ITL fellow affords me many more opportunities to come out, as "so, what do you do?" is a question that comes up all the time. Even thought I don't always want to "go there" with people I've just met, talking about what I do as it positively relates to who I am is a privilege afforded to too few in a system where having to compromise one's morals for a paycheck is all too common.
May 2, 2011
Trusting My Own Experience
I want to find out about the experiences of queer people in the workplace. What are our main concerns at work? How does being queer in its various forms act as a barrier to career development or even getting a paycheck? How can we benefit employers and co-workers by sharing our unique experiences? How do we want our community to help us earn better opportunities?
In a mock interview last week with Mad, I came to the realization that, while it is important and useful to get these questions answered by as many people as possible to show the range of experiences and show that our experiences are "more legitimate," I can also answer these questions myself. My own experiences in the workplace are important, helpful, and while maybe they don't count as straight-up "data," being a part of the queer community has shown me that we've come a long way without any encouragement from properly sanctioned research. I'm thinking about Esther Newton's Mother Camp: Female Impersonators in America, an ethnographic account of drag culture published in 1979. I'm thinking about ACT UP and Stonewall and other direct action--putting our bodies on the line for creating change. I'm thinking of the It Gets Better project, which is all about the power created by sharing our experiences.
One of my main concerns at work is whether or not to come out, when, to whom, and how. I mean, my co-workers now already know that I am trans. But because being trans means something a little different to each person, I'm not sure what they know, what they think they know, and what they don't really care about knowing. But I'm also meeting and talking to new people all the time and coming out kind of comes along with telling what I do. In some ways, that's an easy out, unless of course if, when I say Initiative for Transgender Leadership, the "transgender" just flies over their heads cause I don't fit their picture of what a transgender person looks like or does. In general though, talking about it produces some really interesting conversations, even if I don't always want to talk about it.
In the past, coming out never seemed relevant, or wise. One instance I'm thinking about I could have totally come out to a co-worker and I'm sure it would have been fine, but I just was held back by nerves. Coming out as transgender really shifts things into the way personal pretty fast. Sometimes I'm just too shy to take that plunge with someone I am friendly with, but not ready to get that personal with.
Other times, coming out feels essential, even though I may feel a panic attack coming on. I preferred to be up front about being trans at the three childcare positions I've held. In each case it never really came up again after that, but it made me feel so much better to know that I ran into any problems, I had a supervisor I was already out to, so I didn't have to come out in a crisis.
For me coming out completely would also involve coming out as queer, as having dated men, as being bisexual. This may fly under the radar as my partner is a woman, and although neither of us identifies as straight, we are assumed to be straight. This is sometimes awkward at queer events. Heaven forbid we come across as some space-invading heteros!
More generally, coming out involves speaking out against anti-gay or anti-women comments. Sometimes man-spaces don't feel safe enough to even say "That's not cool" or whatever and I have to concede by just not laughing the joke, ignoring it, or avoiding the person who said it. Often I am amazed be privy to totally gross boy's club comments, jokes, and bathroom habits that men generally wouldn't be caught dead sharing with women. It isn't all gross either. I wonder if some men might be embarrassed about sharing some of the tender, innocent things too. As an aside, I've also been witness to some really degrading gender language from women too, especially when it comes to gender policing children.
It's never clear how best to find out what kind of work environment it really is when applying for a job. Like, should I ask in the interview what kinds of policies protect LGBT employees? Since my work experience on my resume includes obviously queer context (especially now) how do I know that they person reading it wont just "look it over"? How does my work experience in queer contexts translate to other positions?
I know that my queerness has made me feel awkward in the workplace in general--like I'm not "acting normal" or whatever. There's this idea of how to "be a woman" or "be a man" in the workplace and I don't really feel like I fit either of those. Maybe this is how most people feel. Workplaces can be awkward places for all kinds of people.
I feel that my queerness and transness can contribute to a better workplace environment. For instance, I'm generally less likely to kill myself over trying to carry something heavy all by myself. I try to make it a point to pay attention to non-verbal cues women are sending to men in the room--about when the men should stop talking, when women need more personal space, etc. Also, from my experience being a member of a community often left out of outreach, research, and advertising in any real way, I have more of an eye when it comes to implementing projects--who are we trying to reach? why? what language are we going to use? Not to mention the perils of tokenism.
I've been to a couple internship fairs as a student and I remember being really disappointed with the selection. I wanted some more alternative employers in attendance. One thing I am working on is an LGBT-and-ally-themed internship fair. Employers have to show that they have a commitment to LGBT-inclusion if they want to attend. Organizations that serve the LGBT community are especially welcome to show all the various opportunities available fighting the good fight in our community.
I've also found it useful to hear stories from other folks going through the same thing--what advice they can offer is definitely helpful, this is true even if the details of their experience hardly mirrors mine. What's important is the before and after, the feeling, the triumph.
In a mock interview last week with Mad, I came to the realization that, while it is important and useful to get these questions answered by as many people as possible to show the range of experiences and show that our experiences are "more legitimate," I can also answer these questions myself. My own experiences in the workplace are important, helpful, and while maybe they don't count as straight-up "data," being a part of the queer community has shown me that we've come a long way without any encouragement from properly sanctioned research. I'm thinking about Esther Newton's Mother Camp: Female Impersonators in America, an ethnographic account of drag culture published in 1979. I'm thinking about ACT UP and Stonewall and other direct action--putting our bodies on the line for creating change. I'm thinking of the It Gets Better project, which is all about the power created by sharing our experiences.
One of my main concerns at work is whether or not to come out, when, to whom, and how. I mean, my co-workers now already know that I am trans. But because being trans means something a little different to each person, I'm not sure what they know, what they think they know, and what they don't really care about knowing. But I'm also meeting and talking to new people all the time and coming out kind of comes along with telling what I do. In some ways, that's an easy out, unless of course if, when I say Initiative for Transgender Leadership, the "transgender" just flies over their heads cause I don't fit their picture of what a transgender person looks like or does. In general though, talking about it produces some really interesting conversations, even if I don't always want to talk about it.
In the past, coming out never seemed relevant, or wise. One instance I'm thinking about I could have totally come out to a co-worker and I'm sure it would have been fine, but I just was held back by nerves. Coming out as transgender really shifts things into the way personal pretty fast. Sometimes I'm just too shy to take that plunge with someone I am friendly with, but not ready to get that personal with.
Other times, coming out feels essential, even though I may feel a panic attack coming on. I preferred to be up front about being trans at the three childcare positions I've held. In each case it never really came up again after that, but it made me feel so much better to know that I ran into any problems, I had a supervisor I was already out to, so I didn't have to come out in a crisis.
For me coming out completely would also involve coming out as queer, as having dated men, as being bisexual. This may fly under the radar as my partner is a woman, and although neither of us identifies as straight, we are assumed to be straight. This is sometimes awkward at queer events. Heaven forbid we come across as some space-invading heteros!
More generally, coming out involves speaking out against anti-gay or anti-women comments. Sometimes man-spaces don't feel safe enough to even say "That's not cool" or whatever and I have to concede by just not laughing the joke, ignoring it, or avoiding the person who said it. Often I am amazed be privy to totally gross boy's club comments, jokes, and bathroom habits that men generally wouldn't be caught dead sharing with women. It isn't all gross either. I wonder if some men might be embarrassed about sharing some of the tender, innocent things too. As an aside, I've also been witness to some really degrading gender language from women too, especially when it comes to gender policing children.
It's never clear how best to find out what kind of work environment it really is when applying for a job. Like, should I ask in the interview what kinds of policies protect LGBT employees? Since my work experience on my resume includes obviously queer context (especially now) how do I know that they person reading it wont just "look it over"? How does my work experience in queer contexts translate to other positions?
I know that my queerness has made me feel awkward in the workplace in general--like I'm not "acting normal" or whatever. There's this idea of how to "be a woman" or "be a man" in the workplace and I don't really feel like I fit either of those. Maybe this is how most people feel. Workplaces can be awkward places for all kinds of people.
I feel that my queerness and transness can contribute to a better workplace environment. For instance, I'm generally less likely to kill myself over trying to carry something heavy all by myself. I try to make it a point to pay attention to non-verbal cues women are sending to men in the room--about when the men should stop talking, when women need more personal space, etc. Also, from my experience being a member of a community often left out of outreach, research, and advertising in any real way, I have more of an eye when it comes to implementing projects--who are we trying to reach? why? what language are we going to use? Not to mention the perils of tokenism.
I've been to a couple internship fairs as a student and I remember being really disappointed with the selection. I wanted some more alternative employers in attendance. One thing I am working on is an LGBT-and-ally-themed internship fair. Employers have to show that they have a commitment to LGBT-inclusion if they want to attend. Organizations that serve the LGBT community are especially welcome to show all the various opportunities available fighting the good fight in our community.
I've also found it useful to hear stories from other folks going through the same thing--what advice they can offer is definitely helpful, this is true even if the details of their experience hardly mirrors mine. What's important is the before and after, the feeling, the triumph.
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